Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
