i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
