Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
