I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
