Porn is love you can see.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So much rum. So many feels.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
