I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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