Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
