hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
