If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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