gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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