they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
