the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
