My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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