Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
