I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
