A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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