On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize