Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Randomize
