Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
