I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
