I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
