Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
