worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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