I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you win again, gameday.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
