ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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