I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
