idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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