no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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