I just saw a hot homeless man
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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