ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize