Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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