The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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