so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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