Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
