I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she peed on how many people?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
