I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
