It's like God shit irony all over that family
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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