somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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