wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
