The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
