Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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