I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
