i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
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Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
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Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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