the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I would fuck him just for his dog
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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