bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
