i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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