Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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