I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
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