Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
