oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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