Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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