fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
