This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
