if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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