@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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