hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
