Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
