In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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