I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
