You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize