K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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