Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
