We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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