At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
