I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
did i just pee glitter
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
