he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
